Vertically challenged

It's tough to be vertically challenged. People always making short jokes. Strangers placing their drinks on your head at bars because they mistake you for a table. I feel for you brotha. But in order for the vertically challenged to be respected, it takes one of two things: A huge schlong or lots of money. Considering I've been dirt poor for the last 400 years, you figure out the rest. When in doubt, try carrying firearms. It's amazing the amount of respect you get from people when you put a loaded Glock 9 to their temple after they spill their drink on you.